This post is the third in a three-part series on sexual assault.  Monday’s blog featured a brief review of Wendy Blight’s book, Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner, and yesterday Wendy recapped her story for us (if you missed that post, click here to download a free chapter of the book).  I am grateful for Wendy’s perspective, and for her willingness to write these posts.  The strategies she offers for staying S.A.F.E. are worth sharing.  JB

How I wish someone had shared with me what I’m about to share with you. If they had, perhaps the events of June 7, 1987 would have ended very differently.

A few years ago, Oprah Radio invited me to Chicago to share my story and the facts, statistics, and practical lessons I learned from my experience. I’m sharing that same information with you today. I write this NOT to instill fear but to inform and educate. I invite you to read through to the end…inform and educate yourself… and share what you learn with your friends.

The Facts

• Did you know that 1 out of 4 college women are sexually assaulted every year?
• Did you know that 1 out of 6 women some time during their lifetime will be the victim of sexual assault?
• Did you know that approximately 60% of sexual assaults go unreported every year? And 97% of rapists will never spend a day in jail.

The Effects

Victims of sexual assault are:

• 3 times more likely to suffer from depression.
• 6 times more likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder.
• 13 times more likely to abuse alcohol.
• 26 times more likely to abuse drugs.
• 4 times more likely to contemplate suicide.

(Statistics taken from RAINN, the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network.)

Ways to Prevent Becoming a Victim:  Be S.A.F.E.

Sexual assault is a crime of 0pportunity!!! What do I mean by that? Rarely is a woman assaulted by a stalker. A perpetrator selects his victim because, by her unintentional actions, she has made herself an easy target. By following a few simple steps, you can avoid being an easy target. I learned some of these first-hand. THE KEY TO AVOID BEING A VICTIM IS AWARENESS; please share these “Be S.A.F.E.” strategies with all the women you know!

S – Avoid Compromising Situations

When you go out….

• never leave your drink unattended (alcoholic and non-alcoholic)
• never accept a drink from a stranger and accept drinks only when you see the bartender pour it and hand it directly to you
• never leave the keys to your home with anyone (valet, service station, car wash)
• never be alone with someone you do not know
• always be sure a friend or family member knows who you are with and where you are going
• be conscious of what you post on social media; never announce you will be alone…anytime or anywhere
• use apps that will help contact people when you are in trouble and locate you (for example: Circle of 6 and bSafe)

A – Be Aware of Your Surroundings

• know where you are at all times
• know what is going on around you
• know who is around you
• never have conversations within range of a stranger that reveal you will be home alone, closing a business alone, traveling alone, etc.

F – Trust Your Feelings

• if your intuition tells you something is not right, pay attention and respond (chills down your spine, hair stands on end, knot in your stomach)
• flee if you feel uneasy or uncomfortable
• call 911 if you sense danger
• never ignore your feelings because they may save your life

E – Don’t Be An Easy Target

• secure your home, apartment, and car by locking your doors and windows at ALL times – NO EXCEPTIONS
• carry your cell phone at all times and be sure it is charged 
• never walk alone at night ANYWHERE
• never open your door to a stranger and ALWAYS ask for identification when expecting workmen
• don’t leave a friend alone … ever
• watch what you drink and don’t exceed your limit

Some of these sound simple and obvious. But I violated three of these prevention steps. I had a conversation outside at the pool which unintentionally announced to everyone around me that I would be home alone that afternoon. We left our front door unlocked, which allowed the rapist easy access. I had a “strange” sensation when I walked in the apartment and saw our front door locked because we usually left it unlocked for each other. But I didn’t trust that “feeling” and walked up the stairs right into the arms of an armed, masked man.

What to Do If It Happens to You

• Immediately call 911 no matter what your attacker threatens.
• Do not change your clothes.
• Do not shower or bathe.
• Do not brush your teeth.
• Do not move or remove any item from the location of the attack.
• Write down anything you can remember immediately (race, age, height, weight, hair color, hair length, eye color, distinguishing marks, facial hair, clothes, weapon, odors).
• Go to the emergency room.

For help, contact 1-800-656-HOPE, the national hotline for RAINN. Anyone who believes they have been raped or abused in any way can call this number.

This is a message I’ve shared on many college campuses and in radio and television interviews. I invite you to share what you have learned today with those in your sphere of influence…women you care about…it could save a life!

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